Maulfaul Likes You

maulfaul @ 2007-11-29T01:19:00

2007-11-29T06:20:49Z

Considering how rarely I drink, it's truly startling how much I know about alcohol.

98%ALCOHOLIC

Quiz care of Kris.

I am a little strange.

2007-04-22T15:21:41Z

After contemplating Max's (outed, outed, outed on the internet) comment about the suckiness of English 239 and briefly but intensely considering my possible future path here at the University of Michigan, I have decided definitively that I am going to be a Screen Arts and Culture major. I also decided that I just really wanted to take that class on Fantasy. In order to do that, I had to drop The Hero as the Other, which I was already kind of nervous about because of the fact that it's taught by my Art of Film professor. Anyways, here is the NEW schedule I came up with:

EECS 183 - Elementary Programming Concepts
SAC 236 - Art of Film
ENGLISH 313 - Fantasy
HISTORY 210 - Early Middle Ages, 300-1100

I feel a lot more satisfied with this one. Thank you, MAX ON THE INTERNET.

Tingles

2007-03-03T01:20:23Z

Wow, Ze has now collected little pieces of both John Hodgman and Paul Rudd and put them into little internet-boxes. Makes me wonder what exactly he's doing that allows him to hang out with these awesome people. Makes me wonder what kind of awesome-bomb he's going to drop on us once The Show concludes. All this wondering makes me feel all tingly inside.

Zzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Oh my--

2007-03-02T06:05:14Z

I really like "30 Rock". I REALLY like it. I wasn't wild about it the first few episodes I watched, but now I find it almost disturbingly enjoyable. Should Alec Baldwin be admitted onto my list of men I want to keep locked up in my basement? I'm thinking yes. He falls into one of my favorite categories: Older-Middle-Aged-Man-Sexy.

I mean, kids, this show is VERY clever, VERY funny, and VERY fresh. It follows that it is also struggling with ratings, very similarly to Arrested Development. It also has the same kind of self- and socially referential nature, which apparently turns off the drooling masses who watch things like The George Lopez Show and Everybody Loves Raymond.

Anyway, if this sounds interesting, check out its website and watch it on Thursdays at 9:30 (right after The Office and Scrubs).

If you already watch it, who would be interested in helping me make popular fictional films "WHO DAT NINJA?" and "RURAL JUROR" a reality? I feel their existence is crucial to the survival of mankind.

A Firm Proclamation

2007-02-28T05:52:32Z

YES, I AM READING MADELEINE L'ENGLE'S "A WRINKLE IN TIME" AGAIN AND NO, THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT.

Weird Dreams: Part 831

2007-02-22T19:55:22Z

Wow, I had quite the series of dreams last night. They weren't just lame, weird, plotless dreams either, they were really strongly visual and fairly logical (as dreams go). The first highlight was one wherein John Lennon showed up randomly (along with the rest of the Beatles) while I was hanging out with some Gargoyle people and gave me his old hookah pipe, which was like this beautiful, pink, jewel-encrusted thing with an elephant on the top that he'd gotten in India. And my first reaction in the dream was "whoa, this thing would make me a fortune on eBay".

There were a variety of events that happened afterwards involving the hookah pipe, but none of them are important enough for me to remember. The dream eventually transitioned to a story about this sleeper assassin-type guy who was triggered through music. He painted his face with these awesome black, red, white patterns that I wish I could remember, and then was involved in some elaborate plan in a movie theater to kill someone. Eventually, I'm pretty sure I became this guy and was about to do some awesome brainwashed killing when I woke up.

Don't you ever wish there were a way to record dreams and watch them later when you're awake? Come on, science people, get working on it.

It is a blog post.

2007-02-12T05:48:41Z

I haven't done one of these things in a while, so I'll do a brief recap of my life of late so that future-me will be able to read about it and chuckle reminiscently one day.

The past two weekends have been spent NOT WINNING BOUTS at fencing tournaments. Note that this is a marked downturn in bouts won per tournament from 2 last November to 0 now. YES, I AM GETTING WORSE. Maybe I should try to unlearn something. Anyway, I kind of like traveling--it provides a nice sense of camaraderie. I also like the Outback Steakhouse tradition.

In domestic-type news, my proxy successfully secured my first choice room (405 Greene), which will enable the construction of the ultimate EQ Fortress of Solitude next year. I'm very excited.

Today, I've been doing such exciting things as:
1. Waking up at 1 AM with horrible cramps.
2. Waking up at 5:30 AM because I forgot to turn off my alarm from last week.
3. Waking up at 10:30 AM for real this time.
4. Having enriching breakfast conversation with KEN TANG.
5. Finding a new and pretty wallpaper on devART.
6. Writing a sonnet about a painting of a man with a hoe.
7. Sitting in the Garg-office and having Garg-versations with Max.
8. Going to Vault of Midnight with Max and Kris to get my daily dosage of nerd.
9. Having some Potbelly's (Developing considerable personal potbelly also).
10. Wasting time.
11. Typing up the answers for the big fat "Undine" packet (OMG SPOILERS SHE IS A MERMAID LOL)
12. Skim-reading some of the next act of "Prinz von Homburg"
13. Studying for the quiz on "Tosca" and "Norma" and making up mnemonic devices for parts of operas.

Actually a fairly productive day by my standards. Also, the cold I've had for the past week is abating somewhat. Yay.

maulfaul @ 2007-01-31T18:31:00

2007-01-31T23:40:10Z

Me likey Sacha Baron Cohen. One day I will catch him and put him in a cage next to Xuan's and Danny DeVito's.

EDIT: Just to clarify, Xuan and Danny are there because they're adorable in manner of a Pokemon that you want to collect and share with your friends--in other words, no sex would be involved. They would just be there for me to put funny hats on, take on walks, or teach to do cute tricks. With Mr. Cohen, there would definitely be sex. Definitely. In addition to the funny hats.

Stupor

2007-01-31T02:01:09Z

There are many words that could be used to describe my mental state today. I am sure that many of them are very descriptive and have layered meanings which would really help to convey my subjective experience. Ah yes, so many words. Sadly, I cannot think of any of them right now. All I can think of is the word "stupor", which I guess gives it some weight as a descriptor.

Anyway, I don't know why, but today and yesterday I have been functioning in a very deep haze. I'm sure it's a result of a lot of things: the snow, the temperature, coming back from a weekend at home, the dark depths of Seasonal Affective Disorder, whatever. Anyway, I don't much like it. Even now, typing, an action that requires pretty minimal physical exertion, I feel like I'm moving underwater. Or in space. Possibly underwater IN space.

When I'm like this, it's really hard for me to accomplish stuff. Although I only had one class today, I didn't even bother to finish my homework for it last night. The assignment I had to do for Creative Writing, which was "writing a poem response to another poem"...well, it's so pathetic, I don't even want to go into it. I'll give you a hint: it involves haikus.

I got home and somehow wasted the entire day away watching the second season of Da Ali G Show and then trolling YouTube for cheap laughs. Sacha Baron Cohen reminds me why I get all girly over talented guys. As Gary Oldman says, talent is the ultimate turn-on.

Anyways, around 3 o'clock I realized that I was hungry and had missed lunch, so I bundled up and trudged over to the Union for some Subway. I managed to read the four (dear GOD) chapters of "Undine" assigned for German tomorrow. I'm not ENTIRELY sure what happened, but it somehow involved DER LANGE WEISSE MANN.

Then I went to the Garg office and was completely unhelpful for two hours.

Now I am back again in my chair at my desk where I am slowly but steadily wrecking my posture and the circulation in my left arm.

And now I am watching House.

Predate Encouragement

2007-01-26T16:56:11Z

You know, not that I have a date, but I was loitering around Zefrank.com, as I tend to do when I'm bored, and stumbled upon this again. It makes me happy inside.

http://www.zefrank.com/predate/index2.html

It's interesting that Ze seems to have these other characters stored around that he doesn't use a lot. Another example is this movie about improvisation where he also includes "German Ze".

http://www.zefrank.com/spotlight/menu.html ("I mean, if someone came up to me and said 'There's a monkey fucking your face', you know, I couldn't say no. I couldn't say 'No, there's not. No, there's no monkey.' I'd have to just immediately accept that reality.")

I guess I can only hope he continues making stuff like this after The Show's over. Oh, Ze.

OMG ITS LUPUS

2007-01-23T12:37:30Z

http://health.msn.com/centers/cancer/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100153655&GT1=8971

Non-House fans won't understand the importance of this article.

I HAVE A LIST

2007-01-19T04:50:03Z

Damn, I had a huge and very introspective entry about the nature of and secret subconscious motivations behind my actor fixations, but I accidentally went to another page and it was all tragically lost.

GIST: Whenever I have the chance, I use the passionate intensity of my obsessions as a way to help me learn about related topics. See: Kenneth Branagh, Buster Keaton. It could also be some complex psychological coping mechanism for boredom, loneliness, lack of mental/emotional stimulation, et cetera. I mean, I definitely managed to keep myself occupied for about a month with the Gary Oldman obsession alone. And not just any old month--a totally empty post-Senior, unemployed, summer-month.

Also, I have managed to get the whole process down to a science, that's just how damn experienced I am with this. So, following in the footsteps of my highly successful Oldman obsession (I saw EVERY DAMN MOVIE on my list), here's my Buster Keaton list.

(~~strikethrough~~ = WATCHED, BITCH)

THE FATTY ARBUCKLE PHASE (SHORTS)
~~-The Butcher Boy~~
~~-The Rough House~~
~~-His Wedding Night~~
-Oh Doctor!
-The Bell Boy
-Coney Island
-Good Night, Nurse!
-The Cook
-Back Stage
-The Garage

THE GOLDEN AGE (SHORTS)
~~-One Week~~
-The Saphead
-Convict 13
-Neighbors
-The Scarecrow
-The Haunted House
-Hard Luck
-The 'High Sign'
-The Goat
-The Play House
-The Boat
-The Paleface
-Cops
-My Wife's Relations
-The Blacksmith
~~-The Frozen North~~
-The Electric House
-Daydreams
-The Balloonatic
-The Love Nest

THE GOLDEN AGE (FULL-LENGTH)
~~-Three Ages~~
-Our Hospitality
~~-Sherlock Jr.~~
~~-The Navigator~~
-Seven Chances
-Go West
-Battling Butler
~~-The General~~
-College
~~-Steamboat Bill Jr.~~

THE DARK (MGM) AGE
-The Cameraman
-Spite Marriage
-Free and Easy
~~-Parlor, Bedroom, and Bath~~
-Sidewalks of New York
~~-Speak Easily~~

Anyway, I think at least some of these are at our friendly neighborhood UGLi. I will probably have a little trip over there in the near future. Go me. Yes, I know. I am a very sad person.

maulfaul @ 2007-01-17T09:51:00

2007-01-17T14:51:47Z

You know what?

Fuck you too, East Quad. Fuck. You. Too.

State of Mind

2007-01-10T03:47:30Z

Today I thought about planting some M&Ms in the ground and watching them grow into a giant M&M tree.

I think that pretty much sums it up.

"M-O-O-N, that spells 'wasted Sunday'!"

2007-01-08T02:52:53Z

I was tentatively exploring this new "television" contraption this afternoon and stumbled upon the entire miniseries version of The Stand on the Sci-Fi Channel, something I've always been mildly interested in seeing, especially since I wrote my extended essay on the book. It's pretty okay for a made-for-TV miniseries, but somewhat crappy by any other standards. I would say that the best aspects of it are Gary Sinise as Stu, the guy who's Randall Flagg, and whoever it is that played Tom Cullen. But then, everyone loves Tom Cullen under any circumstance.

Naturally, this leads to me trying to remember more about Dark Tower and related materials. All of it seems like a kind of blur in my memory, most especially the tangled mess that comprised the last few books. Okay...so this is mostly directed at Sparky, but anyone else who can give me a refresher is welcome. Randall was the Man in Black, correct? Was he just a minion of the Crimson King, or a power unto himself? I remember him being killed by Susannah's demon/spider child or whatever...which seemed anti-climactic. What was the relationship between Roland's world and the world in The Stand? Was it implied that Roland's world is like distant, distant Earth future? What was up with the rose, again?

Erm, yeah, maybe I should just reread the books again. But they're long and I'd rather have people feed me concise and informed answers. Oh yeah, and what about that book where the Crimson King is a fish? And who the fuck was the Crimson King anyway?

(CONFUSED)

Oh, wait, I just realized I can Wikipedia all of it.

JAY-KAY EN-VEE-EM.

Aus: Die Winterreise

2007-01-07T21:23:13Z

Okay, so I am currently reading the oldest relative of the contemporary emo poem, the German romantic-era poem. Sure, the quality is a little better, but they're really very similar. My favorite is simply titled "Gefrorene Tränen" ("Frozen Tears") and it talks about tepid tears falling and freezing like morning dew and the glowing heat of the author's breast melting the winter snow and stuff. You know, the usual. Those German romanticists were some pretty sad guys.

Interesting note, though: The poem immediately after it in the anthology (written by the same author, apparently over the same lost love) talks about "hot tears"! What kind of continuity is that? The hot tears are still melting the winter snow, and this time his HEART is frozen! Just pick one configuration and stick with it!

Snakes on a Plane...

2007-01-07T15:55:30Z

...is a highly improbable movie.

That said, I'm enjoying it a lot more than I should be.

But seriously, SINCE WHEN WOULD A SNAKE BITE YOU IN THE EYEBALL?

An Exclamation

2007-01-04T00:03:33Z

HOLY CRAP

I AM WATCHING POPULAR TELEVISION PROGRAM "GROWING PAINS" IN MY ROOM.

HOLY CRAP

Guess what?

2007-01-02T01:10:46Z

I am currently listening to the smooth and soulful sounds of Billy Joel on a new, shiny Creative Zen Vision: M (a portable digital music player of the 30 GB categorization)! Now that your interest has been piqued by this striking lead-in, I will tell the story behind this turn of events.

This morning my dad, sister, and I were laying around and not doing anything (as per usual) when the meandering conversation led to technology, as it is wont to do in our house. My dad was talking about his current quest to digitalize a portion, if not all, of our movie collection (which for the uninitiated contains more than 1,000 titles) and make it available in an on-demand capacity on the intrawebs. This, naturally, so that he could load whatever movies he wanted to watch onto his newly purchased Zune whenever he wanted. In conjunction with this he mentioned getting Zunes for the entire family so that we can mutually ignore each other with optimum efficiency. I was quick to interject that the Creative Vision is better than Zune because it supports more video file formats.

The conversation eventually shifted to how my sister only has an old-ass desktop PC and everyone else in the family has a laptop. After a short amount of conversation and in light of the fact that my dad got a considerable bonus at the end of the year and that my mom is going to work at a full-time office job for the first time in something like 19 years starting tomorrow, it was decided that a laptop would be bough for Alison. I volunteered to come along to Best Buy because I like looking at the shiny things.

So my sister picked out a fairly nice Toshiba, my dad heaved a sigh and asked "So, do they have your Creative thing here?" I hurriedly took him over to look at the mp3 player area. Literally before I knew what was happening and with no explanation, my dad bought one for each of us girls. (!!!)

Now this is not really atypical behavior for him, I guess. He's a very impulsive buyer, like me, and according to my mom had absolutely no money in savings until she married him. But I was considerably nervous about how my mom (who typically takes ages agonizing over things before making a purchase and is much more frugal) would react, but she amazingly took it very well. And I managed to eat pot roast! Yaaaay!!

Summary: Today was a good day. I like presents. And pot roast.

maulfaul @ 2007-01-01T10:14:00

2007-01-01T15:20:17Z

Yesterday I got to ring in the new year by lying semi-comatose on the couch and watching an Australian made-for-TV family drama starring popular Australian actors FARAMIR and ELROND. I also ate a piece of REMARKABLY FRESH 6-month-old graduation cake. It was action-packed.

How was YOUR New Year's?

It's Vomit!

2006-12-30T23:57:02Z

Vomiting is fun!

You can vomit by yourself or with friends!

Vomit comes in many different flavors and textures!

Ask your doctor if vomiting is right for you!

Wisdom Aftermath

2006-12-28T23:57:24Z

So I am apparently on the generic version of Vicodin. Probably because there was apparently some trouble "getting the roots out", as the receptionist informed my mother. I am apparently supposed to be relieved of my pain and having a night o' opiate fun. However, all that's happened so far is I took my first pill as soon as my mom came back from the pharmacy, it didn't do anything for about 2 hours and my parents wouldn't let me walk around the house with a cane, make snarky comments, and diagnose unlikely diseases while popping pills. In protest, I fell into a sort of pseudo-sleep for about 5 hours. Now I feel slightly better and have swallowed some soup and taken another dose. It is not yet kicking in (that I can tell). Oh, House, how you've misled me. Bah. My family is eating crackers and the Christmas cookies I made for them just to spite me. BAH.

P.S. I have to admit that I DID have lots of fun with the nitrous oxide, though (until I passed out). I didn't act like the loser in the room next to me and start giggling uncontrollably. I mean geez, man, talk about unoriginal.

Christmas Miracles

2006-12-26T04:56:29Z

SO. The Big Holiday-tacular is over, overall a success except for one song in church on Christmas Eve where I had my bells in the wrong hands and totally botched that shit. Otherwise, the Gail-Cathy tag team was awesome, as usual. They should just get rid of the rest of the music program and leave everything to us.

Anyway, trappings:

- A shiny TV, as a substitute for a roommate. GOD, I AM SO LONELY. SOB.
- DVDs: 1st Season of the new Doctor Who, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, Trainspotting, Looks Like a Brown Trouser Job (a collection of college "comedy lectures" Graham Chapman did in 1988)
- Fencing: knickers and a plastron, but no electric epee
- Cosmetics: Various body washes and soaps and exfoiliating things, plus a little bundle of pretty much every Burt's Bees product from my aunt
- Monies: Gift cards to Borders and The Gap
- Book: Invisible Monsters (self-selected, but Tamar bought it for me)
- Stephen Colbert: an Alpha Squad 7, Tek Jansen Adventures poster
- Ze Frank: a sexy black-on-black duckie shirt (I <3 you, Possie)

That's all I can remember right now...overall a pretty considerable and awesome haul. Am currently wearing black-on-black duckie shirt. It's nice to have Ze so close to my heart. : D

ALSO: Janet responded to my email! I DID pass Proficiency! Lack of override must be some kind of bureaucratic error. You fail, UMich.

Downside: Front coming through, head feels owie. I need to sleep for, like, 14 hours. Awkward grammatical constructions are a result of this.

Hope everyone's holidays are turning out fun, friendly, and fantastic.

Relatives

2006-12-24T06:05:16Z

Just returned from the Pennsylvania/New Jersey/Vassar/Ferndale Browns spectacular. Involved mostly choking down Jimmy John's and playing an immensely hilarious game of Balderdash. Highlights: The Pink Chiquitas, three sisters striving to become the greatest assassins in Guatemala; schemozzle, a man who has lost all his money in a cock-fight; that in Tombstone, Arizona people over 18 are not allowed to display more than one missing tooth; and "What Buzzin' Cousin?" (self-explanatory).

The Browns are a fun bunch, despite their tendencies towards insensitivity and selfishness. I think Olga balances Nick out well, much in the same way Uncle John balances Aunt Kristen. Caity is still pretty anorexic-looking. Aunt Penny and Uncle Richard continue to get older and more out-of-it. We had to explain to them what a dojo was.

The rest of today was spent getting wrapped-up in the expansion pack Alison bought for Oblivion. My cookie-baking goals were not reached, but I hope to catch up tomorrow.

If it were 10 degrees colder, we would be having an excellent white Christmas now. But it's not, and we aren't. : (

Cookies

2006-12-23T13:44:38Z

So, um, grades....yeah.

My First-Year Seminar and History grades aren't up yet, but I apparently have a "P" in Intensiv Deutsch....so that means I didn't fail Proficiency! Huttah! I really didn't think I had failed, but I've been getting kind of nervous since I still haven't gotten an override for Readings. I blame THE MAN.

Anyway, I had one of those headaches where it seems like someone is repeatedly whacking a rock into the side of your head, so I went to bed at 9 last night. Pretty nice. I woke up about every hour, on the hour between 1 AM and now because my body was confused. In between was a cornucopia of weird and varied semi-dreams, none of which I could even begin to recall. Although one of them definitely involved me walking around my kitchen naked, looking for cookies.

I like cookies. Today I am going to make lots of cookies. Christmas cookies with frosting, fat-bomb snickerdoodles (4 sticks of butter per batch), and maybe something more interesting....like fudge. Mmmmm.