Maulfaul Likes You

Considering how rarely I drink, it's truly startling how much I know about alcohol.

98%ALCOHOLIC 
Quiz care of Kris.

After contemplating Max's (outed, outed, outed on the internet) comment about the suckiness of English 239 and briefly but intensely considering my possible future path here at the University of Michigan, I have decided definitively that I am going to be a Screen Arts and Culture major. I also decided that I just really wanted to take that class on Fantasy. In order to do that, I had to drop The Hero as the Other, which I was already kind of nervous about because of the fact that it's taught by my Art of Film professor. Anyways, here is the NEW schedule I came up with:

EECS 183 - Elementary Programming Concepts
SAC 236 - Art of Film
ENGLISH 313 - Fantasy
HISTORY 210 - Early Middle Ages, 300-1100

I feel a lot more satisfied with this one. Thank you, MAX ON THE INTERNET.

Wow, Ze has now collected little pieces of both John Hodgman and Paul Rudd and put them into little internet-boxes. Makes me wonder what exactly he's doing that allows him to hang out with these awesome people. Makes me wonder what kind of awesome-bomb he's going to drop on us once The Show concludes. All this wondering makes me feel all tingly inside.

Zzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

I really like "30 Rock". I REALLY like it. I wasn't wild about it the first few episodes I watched, but now I find it almost disturbingly enjoyable. Should Alec Baldwin be admitted onto my list of men I want to keep locked up in my basement? I'm thinking yes. He falls into one of my favorite categories: Older-Middle-Aged-Man-Sexy.

I mean, kids, this show is VERY clever, VERY funny, and VERY fresh. It follows that it is also struggling with ratings, very similarly to Arrested Development. It also has the same kind of self- and socially referential nature, which apparently turns off the drooling masses who watch things like The George Lopez Show and Everybody Loves Raymond.

Anyway, if this sounds interesting, check out its website and watch it on Thursdays at 9:30 (right after The Office and Scrubs).

If you already watch it, who would be interested in helping me make popular fictional films "WHO DAT NINJA?" and "RURAL JUROR" a reality? I feel their existence is crucial to the survival of mankind.

YES, I AM READING MADELEINE L'ENGLE'S "A WRINKLE IN TIME" AGAIN AND NO, THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT.

Wow, I had quite the series of dreams last night. They weren't just lame, weird, plotless dreams either, they were really strongly visual and fairly logical (as dreams go). The first highlight was one wherein John Lennon showed up randomly (along with the rest of the Beatles) while I was hanging out with some Gargoyle people and gave me his old hookah pipe, which was like this beautiful, pink, jewel-encrusted thing with an elephant on the top that he'd gotten in India. And my first reaction in the dream was "whoa, this thing would make me a fortune on eBay".

There were a variety of events that happened afterwards involving the hookah pipe, but none of them are important enough for me to remember. The dream eventually transitioned to a story about this sleeper assassin-type guy who was triggered through music. He painted his face with these awesome black, red, white patterns that I wish I could remember, and then was involved in some elaborate plan in a movie theater to kill someone. Eventually, I'm pretty sure I became this guy and was about to do some awesome brainwashed killing when I woke up.

Don't you ever wish there were a way to record dreams and watch them later when you're awake? Come on, science people, get working on it.

I haven't done one of these things in a while, so I'll do a brief recap of my life of late so that future-me will be able to read about it and chuckle reminiscently one day.

The past two weekends have been spent NOT WINNING BOUTS at fencing tournaments. Note that this is a marked downturn in bouts won per tournament from 2 last November to 0 now. YES, I AM GETTING WORSE. Maybe I should try to unlearn something. Anyway, I kind of like traveling--it provides a nice sense of camaraderie. I also like the Outback Steakhouse tradition.

In domestic-type news, my proxy successfully secured my first choice room (405 Greene), which will enable the construction of the ultimate EQ Fortress of Solitude next year. I'm very excited.

Today, I've been doing such exciting things as:
1. Waking up at 1 AM with horrible cramps.
2. Waking up at 5:30 AM because I forgot to turn off my alarm from last week.
3. Waking up at 10:30 AM for real this time.
4. Having enriching breakfast conversation with KEN TANG.
5. Finding a new and pretty wallpaper on devART.
6. Writing a sonnet about a painting of a man with a hoe.
7. Sitting in the Garg-office and having Garg-versations with Max.
8. Going to Vault of Midnight with Max and Kris to get my daily dosage of nerd.
9. Having some Potbelly's (Developing considerable personal potbelly also).
10. Wasting time.
11. Typing up the answers for the big fat "Undine" packet (OMG SPOILERS SHE IS A MERMAID LOL)
12. Skim-reading some of the next act of "Prinz von Homburg"
13. Studying for the quiz on "Tosca" and "Norma" and making up mnemonic devices for parts of operas.

Actually a fairly productive day by my standards. Also, the cold I've had for the past week is abating somewhat. Yay.

Me likey Sacha Baron Cohen. One day I will catch him and put him in a cage next to Xuan's and Danny DeVito's. 

EDIT: Just to clarify, Xuan and Danny are there because they're adorable in manner of a Pokemon that you want to collect and share with your friends--in other words, no sex would be involved. They would just be there for me to put funny hats on, take on walks, or teach to do cute tricks. With Mr. Cohen, there would definitely be sex. Definitely. In addition to the funny hats.

There are many words that could be used to describe my mental state today. I am sure that many of them are very descriptive and have layered meanings which would really help to convey my subjective experience. Ah yes, so many words. Sadly, I cannot think of any of them right now. All I can think of is the word "stupor", which I guess gives it some weight as a descriptor.

Anyway, I don't know why, but today and yesterday I have been functioning in a very deep haze. I'm sure it's a result of a lot of things: the snow, the temperature, coming back from a weekend at home, the dark depths of Seasonal Affective Disorder, whatever. Anyway, I don't much like it. Even now, typing, an action that requires pretty minimal physical exertion, I feel like I'm moving underwater. Or in space. Possibly underwater IN space.

When I'm like this, it's really hard for me to accomplish stuff. Although I only had one class today, I didn't even bother to finish my homework for it last night. The assignment I had to do for Creative Writing, which was "writing a poem response to another poem"...well, it's so pathetic, I don't even want to go into it. I'll give you a hint: it involves haikus.

I got home and somehow wasted the entire day away watching the second season of Da Ali G Show and then trolling YouTube for cheap laughs. Sacha Baron Cohen reminds me why I get all girly over talented guys. As Gary Oldman says, talent is the ultimate turn-on.

Anyways, around 3 o'clock I realized that I was hungry and had missed lunch, so I bundled up and trudged over to the Union for some Subway. I managed to read the four (dear GOD) chapters of "Undine" assigned for German tomorrow. I'm not ENTIRELY sure what happened, but it somehow involved DER LANGE WEISSE MANN.

Then I went to the Garg office and was completely unhelpful for two hours.

Now I am back again in my chair at my desk where I am slowly but steadily wrecking my posture and the circulation in my left arm.

And now I am watching House.

You know, not that I have a date, but I was loitering around Zefrank.com, as I tend to do when I'm bored, and stumbled upon this again. It makes me happy inside.

http://www.zefrank.com/predate/index2.html

It's interesting that Ze seems to have these other characters stored around that he doesn't use a lot. Another example is this movie about improvisation where he also includes "German Ze".

http://www.zefrank.com/spotlight/menu.html    ("I mean, if someone came up to me and said 'There's a monkey fucking your face', you know, I couldn't say no. I couldn't say 'No, there's not. No, there's no monkey.' I'd have to just immediately accept that reality.")

I guess I can only hope he continues making stuff like this after The Show's over. Oh, Ze.